September 2003 Newsletter - Part 2 Phil Konstantin
Sep 9, 2003 2:38 PDT
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Start of the September 2003 Newsletter Part Two
Hi,
I have been very busy the last week or so. My old van has been having
many problems lately, so I had to deal with that. It was nice for while
it lasted, but it has come to the point of diminishing returns. My final
solution was to get a different vehicle, and donate the van to charity.
It was a 1990 Chevy that got about 10 miles to the gallon. This is why
the second part of this newsletter has been delayed.
Someone asked me why I add my name to the newsletter's title. There is
so much spam e-mail, I just wanted it to be easy for you to see that
this was not SPAM!
I have mentioned before that I really enjoy movies. Recently, I have
been experimenting with online DVD rental services. Specifically, I have
tried Netflix and Walmart. Both companies offer you so many DVDs at a
time for a monthly fee. You can keep any DVD for as long as you like,
and then mail it back to them (at their cost in prepaid envelopes) when
you are finished with it. As soon as they receive the DVD, the next one
on your wish list is mailed to you. The standard plan is that you have
three DVDs checked out at a time. So, each time, you send one in, they
send you another.
Walmart had somewhat better prices, but the delivery time was really
slow. Sometimes there was a wait of over 10 days to get the next DVD.
Netflix was much better. They have distribution centers all over the
county. Quite often, I will get my next DVD about three days after I
mailed the last one back. On the "check out 5 at a time" plan (approx
$30 a month), this means that I get a new movie almost every day. That
averages out to just a little over $1 a day for a new DVD each day. Both
companies have about 15,000 available movies or special programs on DVD.
Walmart had many that were not available. Netflix had every single DVD I
requested immediately available. You create a list of movies (concerts,
documentaries, etc.) you want to see online.
I like DVDs much better than video cassettes. The DVD offer much better
quality. They also offer many extras such as behind the scenes looks at
the making of the movie, directory or actor commentaries, and several
other things.
While I have had a link to Netflix on my store page (
http://americanindian.net/store.html at the bottom, it says "Love DVDs,
rent them online") for some time, I can now strongly recommend them. If
you rent videos, or subscribe to the premium cable channels (I dropped
HBO & Starz), you might want to check out Netflix. Here is a link to
their information page. You can try it for free for one month.
http://service.bfast.com/bfast/click?bfmid=27276611&siteid=39569651&bfpage=a_120x60_style1
. If this link does not work for you, you can find the link on the
bottom of my store page.
...and now back to our regularly scheduled program...
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Featured Link of the Month for September 2003:
The "Link of the Month" for September 2003 is the United States Senate
Committee on Indian Affairs page. As many of you know, the Bureau of
Indian Affairs website has been turned off for some time. The USCIA site
is a good alternative "official" resource on American Indian
governmental matters....
http://www.senate.gov/~scia/index.htm
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This month's treaty is TREATY WITH THE UMPQUA—COW CREEK BAND, 1853.Sept.
19, 1853. | 10 Stats., 1027. The treaty was signed in Oregon. It
involved such issues as: Cession of land, Temporary occupation of part
of said cession, Permanent homes to be selected, Payment for said
cession, Houses to be erected, Protection to travelers, Redress for
private grievances, Restitution of stolen property, Indemnification for
property stolen from Indians, Farms may be established, etc.. You can
see a copy of the treaty at:
http://digital.library.okstate.edu/kappler/Vol2/treaties/ump0606.htm
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This month's movie review is of "Skins."
The basic listing on www.imdb.com (Internet Movie Database) is:
Directed by Chris Eyre, Writing credits: Adrian C. Louis (novel),
Jennifer D. Lyne .
Tagline: The Other American Heroes.
Plot Outline: An inspirational tale about the relationship between two
Sioux Indian brothers living on the Pine Ridge Indian reservation.
First, you must remember that this is fiction. That being said, the
movie shot on the Pine Ridge reservation. Many locals had parts in the
movie. Joe RedCloud, one of the people whose e-mails I post here, was an
extra in Skins. To quote him: "I'm in there as "background". I'm the
dude with the long hair sitting in Bat's when the guys have their little
run-in with the cop." David Bald Eagle (see pictures of us & his place
starting on this page http://americanindian.net/2003s.html ) plays the
man who calls out the names of the soldiers at the funeral.
Graham Greene plays Mogie Yellow Lodge. Eric Schweig plays his brother
Rudy, who is a local sheriff. Greene does a very good job with Mogie.
Mogie is an alcoholic. In an interview Greene said, "Before the healing
can take place, the poison must be exposed." He was glad to have a
"contemporary" role. Regarding one of his roles as an 1800s Indian when
the director said for him to stand and look stoic, Greene said: "I'll
stand and look stoic, if you sit and look stupid."
The two brothers love each other no matter what and despite many
disagreements. One of the main story lines is about the murder of a
young man, and Rudy's efforts to find the killers. It also looks at
Rudy's internal struggles with being a cop (hmm, that sounds familiar).
Rudy's life is affected by a "trickster spider."
Chris Eyre tried to take a realistic look at one of the most
economically depressed area in America. He said the area has 80%
unemployment, but a wealth of spirit and love. Much of the story takes
place in Whiteclay, Nebraska. Whiteclay is just outside the reservation.
The real town has a population of 22 people. It also has LOTS of liquor
stores. Since liquor is not sold on the reservation, many people come
here to buy alcohol. Anyone will tell you that not all Indians are
alcoholics, but it is a serious problem. My grandfather (who disappeared
when my mother was seven) had many battles with liquor. One of the lines
in the movie is that by selling alcohol, they are feeding a disease.
There are times when the movie is hard to watch because of its frank
depiction of desperate lives. At other times, it is quite funny or
moving. Eric Schweig's character is trying to live a good life. However,
he makes some decisions which will have many unexpected results for him
and his family.
I only spent a few hours in Pine Ridge during my trip through there in
May. So, I cannot tell you if the life depicted in this movie is really
accurate. But, it does deal with a real problem in the American Indian
community. This is not a politically correct movie, and it was intended
to be one. Joe RedCloud told me there were some mixed feelings about the
movie and the crew. Overall, from all of the people I have talked to who
either live on Pine Ridge or have spent some time there, the movie was
accepted for what it was, a story about two brothers facing life's
trials.
I recommend the movie for its characters. It has several subplots which
are also interesting. The final scene also appeals to me. The trickster
spider strikes again!
You can find a link to purchase the DVD on my store page:
http://americanindian.net/store.html
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This month I am going to review the book "The Seventh Generation, Native
Students Speak About Finding the Good Path."
Gina Boltz, Director of Native Village Publications, recommended this
book to me. I have enjoyed reading through it. Primarily, it is a
textbook for middle and high school students. One of the most common
complaints I have heard from teachers with American Indian or First
Nations students is finding material the students can relate to. (Since
we are discussing instructional material, I will regress for a moment.
Yes, you can end a sentence in a preposition. Richard Lederer and
Charles Herrington Elster, two expects in grammar and language usage,
say this is an old myth, which continues to be propagated by many
teachers.) This book talks with over 100 "native" students to see how
they have handled trying times in their lives. These stories are then
used to promote discussions among the students.
The Anishinaabe (Ojibwe) have an ancient prophecy. Seven prophets came
among them and told of their future. The seventh prophet, or the
seventh fire, told them of a future when a young generation would return
them greatness after a period of loss, tragedy and alienation.
Some people feel that this "seventh generation" has been born, and is
now walking the earth. It is from this that the book gets its title.
From the book's press release: "Candid interviews with 120 American
Indian, Alaska Native, and First Nations youth across North America
bring their trials and triumphs to
life in a new book published by the EPIC Clearinghouse on Rural
Education and Small Schools. "The Seventh Generation: Native Students
Speak About Finding the Good Path" is written especially for today's
Native middle and high school students, but its insights into the
day-to-day experiences of Native youth make it a valuable resource for
practicing teachers, teachers in training, social workers, and others
who work with youth."
The authors had two goals: "help educational and spiritual leaders
understand what Indigenous youth think about their schooling and their
communities;" and, "to provide Native youth with a 'mirror' through
which they could examine their own lives."
The book won the 2003 Skipping Stones Honor Awards. here is their
comments about the book: Educational, Entertaining & Exceptional!
Contact: Arun Toke, editor; e-mail: Edi-@SkippingStones.org; tel.
(541) 342-4956. Their selection committee was comprised of over 20
reviewers: editors, librarians, parents, students and teachers. Reviews
of the Tenth Annual Skipping Stones Award winners appear in the summer
issue (Vol. 15, no. 3).
I mentioned that Gina Boltz recommended the book to me. Here is her
review of the book as it appears on Amazon.com. "I am currently
re-reading "The Seventh Generation, Native Students Speak About Finding
the Good Path" by Amy Bergstrom, Linda Miller Cleary, and Thomas D.
Peacock. Written as a textbook for Native students in j.h and h.s,
Seventh Generation goes far beyond these perimeters and offers educators
a fascinating exploration into the lives of Native American youth and
their attitudes/approaches towards life and education. Seventh
Generation also suggests educational ideas and methods to help Native
students meet success. My favorite thing about Seventh
Generation?...It's written by both students and educators who share
mutual respect for their cultures and each other. Gina Boltz, Director,
Native Village Publications"
I highly recommend this book for educators to use as a resource, even if
it does not become your official text. It will provide you with lots of
ideas to spark discussions. For non-teachers, it can provide you with a
look into a part of todays American Indian youth.
You can find a link to this book on my store page:
http://americanindian.net/store.html
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E-mail from subscribers:
Maybe you can help Debbie:
Good morning Phil,
My name is Debbie Britt Hill and I'm one of your readers who really
appreciates you work! What I'm asking is, have you ever come across
the history of a mulattoe, Cherokee man by the name of Austin Tann? I
think he was born in Kentucky about 1790 and then moved to Lawrence
County, Illinois. He was an Indian scout. One place he was at, was
Fort Pinkstaff in Illinois, which is now a very, very small town called
Pinkstaff.....right outside of Lawrenceville, Il. Austin Tann was my
children's ggggggrandfather. He died in 1865 or 69 and is buried in the
Tann Cemetery in Lawrenceville. I was on an Amercian Indian site
yesterday.....Black Indians and found nothing on Austin, but found some
of your works. If you have any info on Mr. Tann, could you please email
me at debbie_bh @ msn.com (delete the spaces on either side of the
@). Take care. Debbie
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From Ruth Garby Torres:
First Nations to Provide "Wisdom of the Giveaway" Scholarships
FREDERICKSBURG, Va. - First Nations Development Institute is
providing a limited number of scholarships to its Great Lakes Wisdom
of the Giveaway Conference on September 8-10, 2003, in Milwaukee,
Wisconsin. Individuals can apply for a scholarship that will be
applied towards the conference registration fee or travel expenses.
The Wisdom Conference is an integral part of First Nations'
Strengthening Native American Philanthropy program and is made
possible with primary support from the Forest County Potawatomi
Community Foundation, a charitable giving program of the Forest
County Potawatomi Tribe, with additional support provided by The
Spirit Foundation, Quarles & Brady LLC, Greater Milwaukee
Foundation, and Northwestern Mutual Foundation.
The event will be held at the Potawatomi Bingo Casino/Conference
Center and brings together representatives from tribes, foundations,
regional nonprofits, and governments to share their experience,
knowledge, and networks about formalized philanthropic giving. Some
of the event's speakers include: Sherry Salway Black, First Nations
Development Institute; Raejean Kanter, Forest County Potawatomi
Community Foundation; Susan Jenkins, Cherokee Preservation
Foundation; Christie Jacobs, Internal Revenue Service Office of
Tribal Governments; and Kerry Bird, Native Americans in
Philanthropy.
Individuals interested in applying for support are encouraged to
send a request for a conference registration or travel scholarship
along with name, organizational affiliation, contact information, and a
brief description of need for scholarship support. Please fax requests
to Megan Hunter at (540) 371-3505, or e-mail to
mhun-@firstnations.org.
For more information on the Great Lakes Wisdom of the Giveaway
Conference check the First Nations website at www.firstnations.org,
or call (540) 371-5615.
***********************
CALL FOR PARTICIPANTS
We are looking for participants who are multiracial (mixed-race) and
are willing to be photographed and interviewed for a photographic
book project called One Blood Nation, a project sponsored by MAVIN
Foundation. Each participant will be invited to complete a
questionnaire to share with us his/her personal experiences growing
up as multiracial. Your answers will be used as extended captions
next to your photograph in the book. Our goal for each caption is
to highlight each person's unique outlook on being a multiracial
individual. Each photo session will run approximately one to two
hours. Even if you are short on time, we can accommodate you.
There are few restrictions as to who can participate. We are looking
to photograph a wide diversity of ages and mixed-race heritages. It
is important is that you identify with your mixed-race heritage,
although you don't have to identify AS multiracial. Please also note
that being photographed does not guarantee inclusion in the book. We
expect to publish the portraits and captions of 100 or more people
in a coffee-table style photo book, to be published next year.
Please note, however, these specifications are subject to change.
The Manhattan-based photographer, Mike Tauber, will be in the
Seattle area from Friday, August 15th through Wednesday, August
20th. If you are interested in participating, please email him at
miket-@mindspring.com and provide the following information:
Name
Telephone number
What days and times you might be available
Your racial/ethnic heritage
Optional: please attach a photo of yourself (this helps me decide
how I would like to photograph you) If you'd like to mail a photo,
I'll send you my address. (Future dates are being scheduled for Los
Angeles, San
Francisco and Hawai'i.)
Thank you very much and we are looking forward to hearing from you!
EMAIL TO: miketauber @ mindspring.com
One Blood Nation is a project sponsored by MAVIN Foundation, the
nation's leading organization celebrating the mixed race experience.
Learn more online: www.mavinfoundation.org.
Matt Kelley, Founder/President
MAVIN Foundation
600 1st Avenue, Suite 600
Seattle, WA 98104
Ph: 206 622 7101
Fx: 206 622 2231
www.mavinfoundation.org
+++++++++++
Call for Papers- Pathways: A Graduate Conference on American
Indian, Studies, April 23-25, 2004, Yale University
The graduate students of the American Studies, African American
Studies and History Departments at Yale University invite submissions
for the upcoming conference- Pathways: A Graduate Conference on
American Indian Studies to be held April 23-25, 2004. The purposes of
this conference are: to provide a comfortable forum for graduate
students working within some aspect of American Indian Studies (AIS)
to share their work with one another, to foster student-to-student and
student-to- professional relationships by encouraging networking and
community- building for those working within AIS, to educate graduate
students working in AIS about the process of professionalization
through traditional and alternate career paths at colleges,
universities, libraries, museums, tribal/national institutions, and
non-profit organizations, to collaborate with undergraduates and
members of local communities on issues pertinent to American Indian
people and AIS, and to discuss, assess, and actively shape the future
of AIS as a field.
Graduate student papers are invited on any topic within American
Indian Studies from any disciplinary approach. Preference will be
given to explicitly interdisciplinary work. We are especially desirous
of papers that demonstrate and discuss emergent approaches in AIS,
and/or those that demonstrate an active involvement with American
Indian communities. In order to foster a regionally diverse community
of graduate student presenters, travel expenses will be paid for
students whose papers are selected.
Abstracts of 500 words should be mailed by October 15, 2003 to Angela
Pulley Hudson, American Studies Department, Yale University, New
Haven, CT 06520. E-mail by attachment or in the body of the message
to: angela.-@yale.edu.
More information on the conference, including the keynote speaker, is
forthcoming. Pathways is sponsored by The Beinecke Rare Book and
Manuscript Library- Western Americana Collection, The Howard R. Lamar
Center for the Study of Frontiers and Borders at Yale University, The
Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, and The Association of Native
Americans at Yale.
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Pinecone Basham sent this along:
AS LONG AS THE GRASS GROWS AND THE RIVERS FLOW
In 2003, the Bush administration, effectively stopped completion of a
decade long project, named Mni Wiconi.. The ambitious project was
designed to pipe treated water from the Missouri River to the arid Pine
Ridge Reservation. Mni Wiconi, which means "water is life," would have
brought water to what has been historically America's most economically
depressed county.
Many of the 35,000 people on Pine Ridge do not have running water and
many of the wells on the reservation are polluted by septic system
percolation or contaminated by nitrates. It is not uncommon for many of
the Lakota
People on Pine Ridge to get their water delivered by truck or
transported in jugs. As the pipeline was laid across the arid landscape
of South Dakota, it brought water to Indian as well as non-Indian
residents. The project was nearing completion in 2002, an election year.
George W. Bush hand-picked John Thune in 2002 to unseat incumbent
Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD). Huge amounts of money were pumped into the
race, the most expensive in South Dakota history. In an effort to fight
the Republican money machine, a grassroots effort to register first-time
voters was undertaken that yeided large numbers of new voters in the
Indian communities of South Dakota. Pine Ridge voters voted in
particularly high numbers and overwhelmingly in favor of Johnson over
his Republican opponent. The
"Indian vote" propelled Johnson to the slimmest of victories, 524 votes.
Thune's loss did not go unnoticed by the Bush White House.
Within months, the Bush administration, breaking previous promises and
committments, cut funding to Mni Wiconi that stopped work on the
project just as it was reaching the borders of Pine Ridge. Without
access to a dependable supply of fresh water, Pine Ridge has little hope
of economic development. Stopping the project just as it nears it's
destination is a cut of the cruelest sort, one that perpetuates
conditions normally associated with third world nations and long
suffered by the people of Pine Ridge.
George W. Bush wears his Christian faith on his sleeve and proudly
describes himself as a "compassionate conservative." I urge you to call
the White House and remind the President that exacting political revenge
on America's most impoverished people is neither Christian nor
compassionate. Tell the president to turn the water back on.
sources:
National Public Radio 8/8/2003
http://www.theramp.net/kohr4/HEROES.html#PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH:
http://www.rapidcityjournal.com/articles/2003/03/17/news/local/news04.txt
http://johnson.senate.gov/~johnson/releases/200206/2002607531.html
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A 2001 study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
(USDHHS) reported the following rates of participation in a variety of
high-risk behaviors among AI/AN youth aged 12 to 17 years in 1999-2000:1
Illicit drug use was more than twice as high (22.2%) as the national
average (9.7%).
Binge alcohol use was higher (13.8%) than the national average (10.3%).
Heavy alcohol use was higher (3.8%) than the national average (2.5%).
Driving under the influence of illicit drugs or alcohol in the past year
was slightly lower (10%) than the national average (11.2%).
Use of cigarettes was more than twice as high (27.2%) as the national
average (13.4%).
Getting into at least one serious fight at school or work in the past
year was higher (22.1%) than the national average (19.9%).
Taking part in at least one group-against-group fight in the past year
was higher (22.4%) than the national average (16.1%).
Carrying a handgun at least once in the past year was about the same
(3.3%) as the national average (3.2%).
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Some interesting website:
The OAS Process to Draft an American Declaration on the Rights of
Indigenous Peoples
http://www.state.gov/p/wha/rt/oas/c9338.htm
Ranking of Last names by the US Census (the top 88799 names)
http://www.census.gov/genealogy/names/dist.all.last
Ranking of Female First Names (the top 4275 names)
http://www.census.gov/genealogy/names/dist.female.first
Ranking of Male First Names (the top 1219 names)
http://www.census.gov/genealogy/names/dist.male.first
The Force Behind Lawsuit (passed along by Matt Bessell)
http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/ny-uscobe243435581aug31,0,3021636.story
The California Indian Conference and Gathering
http://www.cabrillo.cc.ca.us/divisions/socsci/anthro/cic18.html
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A little Humor
This is from Christi Lawler (my son Ron's girlfriend)
One liners:
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
11. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
12. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
14. God must love stupid people; he made so many.
15. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
16. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
17. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
18. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
19. MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup crew.
20. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.
21. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
22. Procrastinate Now!
23. My dog can lick anyone!
24. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
25. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
26. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
27. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
28. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
29. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
30. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
31. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory on your computer.
32. HAM AND EGGS -- A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
for the pig.
33. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
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From Ruth:
New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the
loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel
of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After
sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared
and presented the application, we must point out that you have only
cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before
final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title
back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I
note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years
covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the property
area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from
France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.
For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the
land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had
acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the
possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by
a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the
privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch,
Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the
Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the
Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son
of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the
world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and
His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we
know it AND the FHA. I hope the hell you find God's original claim to be
satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"
The loan was approved.
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My co-worker Ed Clark sent this along:
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and
as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The man
says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the
ostrich.
"What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
$6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact
change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll
have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have
the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with
exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The
usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a
steak, baked potato and salad," says the man. "Same for me," says the
ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That
will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his
pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her
curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come
up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, just
put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be
there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with long legs who agrees with everything I say!"
---------------------------------
Ed sent this, too:
MURPHY'S OTHER LAWS
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
.
5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
.
6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
.
8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
.
11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
.
12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the
"Juneflower."
.
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted and used against you.
.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
..
16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
..
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so
popular?
.
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
.
19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs
and blame it on the higher cost of living.
.
20. Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
..
21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
.
22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
.
23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world
population. .
.
25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
.
26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.
.
27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
.
28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
.
29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
.
30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
.
31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
..
32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
.
33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
.
34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
.
35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
-----------------------
Marcy Martinelli sent this:
Quotes From The 50's
( 1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are,
its going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.00."
(2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long
when $5,000 will only buy a used one."
(3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter
a pack is ridiculous."
(4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just
to mail a letter?"
(5) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire
outside help at the store."
(6) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would
someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car
in the garage,"
(7) "Kids today are impossible. Those ducktail hair cuts make it
impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing
their hair as long as the girls,"
(8) "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they
let Clark Gable get by with saying damn in "Gone With The Wind", it
seems every new movie has either hell or damn in it."
(9) "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to
put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some
fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
(10) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for
$75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday
that they will be making more than the President."
(11) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would
be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now"
(12) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few
married women are having to work to make ends meet."
(13) "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire
someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
(14) "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a
whole lot of foreign business."
(15) "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government
takes half our income in taxes.. I sometimes wonder if we are electing
the best people to Congress."
(16) "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I
seriously doubt they will ever catch on."
17) "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend.
It costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel."
(18) "No one can afford to be sick any more, $35.00 a day in the
hospital is too rich for my blood."
===============================
X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X
===============================
With all of the recent e-mail worms & viruses, I thought I would include
this computer advisory..
Protect Your PC!
Did you get Blasted last month? Did your Inbox overflow with infected
e-mail messages? Were you ready to toss your PC into the trash and
unplug your Internet connection? If you answered yes to any of these
questions, you've got plenty of company.
Last month, the Internet got a loud wake-up call when the Blaster worm
(aka MSBlast or LovSan -
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/w32.blaster.f.worm.html )
struck with a vengeance, crashing a million computers and practically
paralyzing the Internet. If you were lucky enough to avoid getting
Blasted, chances are you personally felt the effects of the Sobig.F
virus (
p://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/w32.so-@mm.html
) , which appeared one week later and had a devastating impact on
worldwide e-mail delivery systems, overwhelming individual computers and
mail servers with a torrent of infected messages. At the height of the
deluge, some security experts estimated that Sobig-infected messages
made up more than 70 percent of all e-mail traffic.
Blaster was noteworthy for the speed with which it spread. Sobig.F was
noteworthy for the sheer volume of e-mail that it generated. This
double-whammy served as a warning for anyone who thought they didn't
need to worry about computer security. In the past few weeks, Carl
Siechert (my co-author on a couple of best-selling Windows books) and I
have been bombarded with questions from friends, family, neighbors, and
business associates who want to know how to stop these two bits of nasty
computer code and how to protect themselves from the inevitable next
wave of attacks. I've personally had to clean up a handful of infected
computers. It's not fun. The task is especially unpleasant when the
victim doesn't have a recent backup and faces the prospect of losing
irreplaceable business documents and e-mail.
Unfortunately, there's no magic bullet that can protect you against
viruses, worms, and other nastiness. Thanks to always-on, high-speed
Internet connections, you're vulnerable to attack at any time. Good
habits alone won't protect you, either. Blaster, for instance, hopped
from computer to computer over ordinary Internet connections. You didn't
need to open an e-mail attachment or click a deadly Web link - all that
Blaster needed was a Windows computer whose owner had been too busy to
install Microsoft critical update MS03-026 (
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/bulletin/MS03-026.asp ) and
who hadn't bothered to install a firewall.
Protecting your computer (and your network, if you have one) requires a
little bit of education, a little bit of persistence, and the
willingness to take charge of your own computer's security. You've taken
the first step by reading this article. The four-point program we
outline here is appropriate for anyone using Windows XP or Windows 2000,
and most of its recommendations are applicable even if you're using an
earlier Windows version. It's a simplified version of a comprehensive
11-point program in Windows Security Inside Out (
ww.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0735616329/bottcom-20/104-6239817-0517520
) , which is aimed at power users and network administrators (you'll
find the complete list in Chapter 2). We've added some commentary to
bring the material up to date and make it even more accessible for
people who might be uncomfortable with some of the jargon of computer
security.
Each of the items in the checklist below is part of a comprehensive
security policy. If you follow this program, you can protect yourself
from all sorts of threats to your security and privacy.
1. Install All Windows Security Patches
This task belongs at the top of the list, and for good reason. Without
exception, every version of Windows ever released includes bugs and
defects that open the door for intruders. Over time, as these security
problems are identified, Microsoft's developers release patches and
updates (sometimes referred to as hotfixes) that repair the problems. At
regular intervals, Microsoft releases service packs, which incorporate
all bug fixes and security updates to that point.
We know a few Windows experts who insist that you should not install
each Critical Update as it comes out. Instead, they say, you should wait
and see whether a particular Windows patch causes problems on other
people's computers before you take the risk of installing it on your
own. And with all due respect to these colleagues, we say: Are you
crazy? These days, the authors of viruses and worms are moving at
Internet speed. The Blaster worm arrived less than four weeks after
Microsoft issued an update that plugged the hole that it exploited. In
theory, an attacker could launch a worm within days or even hours of a
published alert. If you see a Critical Update whose description warns
that the security hole in question "could allow an attacker to
compromise a computer running Microsoft Windows and gain control over
it" or "could allow an attacker to execute code on the system," you
should install the update immediately, without delay. We cannot imagine
any inconvenience that could be worse than having your data destroyed by
a virus or your computer hijacked by a hacker.
We recommend that you configure Windows' Automatic Updates feature to
check for critical updates at regular intervals. You can choose to
receive notifications only, download the updates automatically, or (if
you have Service Pack 1 installed) have Windows update your system files
automatically. To configure this feature, open the System option in
Control Panel (under Performance And Maintenance if you're using
Category view) and click the Automatic Updates tab. Windows XP users
will find illustrated, step-by-step instructions at Microsoft's Security
and Privacy ( http://www.microsoft.com/security/protect/default.asp )
Web site. [Note: The Automatic Updates feature is available for
virtually all Windows versions, not just Windows XP. Ironically, you may
need to connect to Windows Update to install this feature!]
2. Install and Configure a Firewall
A firewall is a system or software that controls the flow of traffic
between networks and protects your computer or network from intruders.
This extra layer of protection is especially important on any computer
with an "always on" Internet connection, such as a DSL line or cable
modem. Firewalls vary widely in their cost and features, but in general
they consist of hardware, software, or a combination of the two, which
prevents unauthorized users from making a connection to your computer
without your permission. A personal firewall is intended to block
hackers from trying to break into your PC. On networks, a firewall acts
as a single point of access to the outside world, making it easier to
maintain security on every network computer and to keep a log of
intrusion attempts.
The built-in Internet Connection Firewall (ICF) included with Windows XP
effectively blocks all incoming traffic from the outside except on ports
where you've requested data. (If you request a Web page, the firewall
allows that data to get through; if a hacker tries to "ping" your
system, the request gets blocked.) In Windows XP, the ICF is
automatically configured when you run the Network Setup Wizard. Many
Windows-based programs can work seamlessly through the firewall (all
traffic from the local machine is allowed out), although you might need
to configure some ports manually before you can run a third-party
program that uses nonstandard ports.
Third-party firewall programs [such as ZoneAlarm (
http://www.zonelabs.com/store/content/home.jsp ) and Norton Internet
Security ( http://www.symantec.com/sabu/nis/nis_pe/ ) ]are appropriate
for use with any computer running a version of Windows other than XP,
and for Windows XP users who want more protection than the basic
capabilities provided by ICF. In addition to intrusion detection and
logging, many of these programs supply tools to help you configure
traffic on a per-application basis, allow virtual private network
connections, and alert you when intrusion attempts are taking place.
Those extra capabilities, of course, come with a fairly steep learning
curve.
Finally, if you have more than one computer using the same cable modem
or DSL connection, get a hardware router, which makes it easier to share
Internet access and effectively blocks unwanted traffic from outside.
3. Install and Configure Antivirus Software
Given the pandemic spread of viruses on the Internet in recent years,
it's foolhardy to even think of connecting a computer to the Internet
without robust, up-to-date antivirus software. Dozens of options are
available, most at relatively modest prices. More important than
installing the software, of course, is making sure it is capable of
detecting all current viruses (using a virus signature file that is
updated frequently). The best antivirus programs include software agents
that handle the chore of updating signature files automatically, so you
are continually protected. After installing the software and the latest
updates, scan your system to ensure that you're virus-free.
Don't let a virus or worm take over your computer or network. It's
important that you train all users of your computer and network
(especially other family members who aren't sophisticated computer
users) in safe computing procedures. Install antivirus software on every
desktop computer, and configure it for regular updates, at least weekly.
You should also configure your e-mail software to block or quarantine
potentially dangerous attachments.
Finally, bookmark authoritative sources of information about viruses and
virus hoaxes. These are some of our favorites:
ICSA Labs' Virus Alerts (
http://www.trusecure.com/html/tspub/hypeorhot/rxalerts/rxrbindex.shtml )
CERT Coordination Center Computer Virus Resources ( http://www.cert.org/
)
Symantec Security Response and Symantec Hoax Alerts (
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter )
F-Secure Security Information Center (
http://www.f-secure.com/virus-info/ )
McAfee Security Virus Information (
.com/virusInfo/default.asp?WWW_URL=www.mcafee.com/anti-virus/default.asp
)
No version of Windows includes virus protection out of the box. For
that, you have to find third-party software solutions. In Windows
Security Inside Out, we include a list of 12 leading makers of antivirus
software from all over the world. Some are free, others are
subscription-based, and still others make products that are priced for
corporate use. How do you know that a particular piece of software
actually does what it's supposed to do? Look through the list of
certified antivirus products (
tp://www.icsalabs.com/html/communities/antivirus/certifiedproducts.shtml
) compiled by ICSA Labs, a leading independent tester of this class of
software. To earn certification, a program must detect 100 percent of
all known in-the-wild viruses and 90 percent of in-the-lab viruses.
4. Create a Backup
Accidents happen. Even the most security-conscious Windows user can fall
victim to a power failure, a hardware glitch, or an attack that slips
through a newly discovered security hole. Regardless of the cause, it's
crucial that you have a reliable current backup at all times so that you
can quickly recover data that's been damaged or destroyed. (In Windows
Security Inside Out, we devote an entire chapter to preventing data
loss.) Your backup plan doesn't have to be complicated. If you have a
Zip drive or a CD burner, all you need to do is copy your crucial files
once every week or two and store the backup disks in a safe place. The
entire chore shouldn't take more than 10 minutes, and it's no more
difficult than rolling your trash can to the curb every week. But
backups are only effective if you remember to do them regularly. So
we'll say it one more time:
Make a backup plan, and then make a backup.
===============================
X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X
===============================
That's it for now, see you next month,
Phil Konstantin
http://americanindian.net
|
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|
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|
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My Biography |
|
Sleepy Driver |
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Ancient Ruins in Central America |
|
Maya Ruins in Mexico |
Whales |
Awards & Webrings |
|
Cherokee Holiday 2001 |
Cherokee Enrollment |
My Newsletters |
|
My Store |
California Highway Patrol |
Indian Era Forts |
|
Articles I Wrote |
Northwestern USA Indian Country |
American Indian Museum in D.C. 2004 |
|
Movie & Book Reviews |
KUSI TV, my new job |
|
My Website's Home Page |
Links: (8,700 and counting) |
Tribal Names |
|
Indian Moons |
Personal Photos |
My Biography |
|
Sleepy Driver |
The Space Program |
Ancient Ruins in Central America |
|
Maya Ruins in Mexico |
Whales |
Awards & Webrings |
|
Cherokee Holiday 2001 |
Cherokee Enrollment |
My Newsletters |
|
My Store |
California Highway Patrol |
Indian Era Forts |
|
Articles I Wrote |
Northwestern USA Indian Country |
American Indian Museum in D.C. 2004 |
|
Movie & Book Reviews |
KUSI TV, my new job |
