August 2004 Newsletter from
"On This Date in North American Indian History"
by Phil Konstantin
Copyright © Phil Konstantin (1996-2004)

Looking for a good book on North American Indians?
Click on the line below:
Good Books


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Start of the August 2004 Newsletter by Phil Konstantin
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The Link of the Month for August 2004 is titled: "Bureau of Indian 
Affairs Federal Acknowledgement Decision Compilation." 

This website shows the status of tribal recognition petitions with the 
U.S. federal government. It has lots of details.

http://64.62.196.98/adc/adc.html



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Treaty of the month:

TREATY WITH THE OSAGE, Aug. 31, 1822. | 7 Stat., 222. |

http://digital.library.okstate.edu/kappler/Vol2/treaties/osa0201.htm


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Here is an interesting opportunity for many of you in the 
field of publishing - book reviews. Theodore Savas is the 
publisher who first decided to publish my book. He has moved 
on to other related fields, including an interesting book 
review concept. By visiting his website, you can either list 
your book to be reviewed, or sign on to be a reviewer. I 
think this is quite a unique idea. Authors pay to list their 
books. Reviewers can register for free.

If you are interested, please read all of the details, to see exactly 
how the process works.

http://www.advancebookreviews.com/

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E-mail notices from subscribers:
(I have not conducted extensive research on thses postings, 
please use your own judgement as to the veracity of them.)

----------------------------------------

A Canunpa Protection Petition request came in To read or sign the 
petition, go to this website: 
http://www.petitiononline.com/wakan/petition.html
------------------------

From: Sharm-@aol.com
I wanted to let you know, that Leonard Peltier has been 
selected as our Guest Writer, as well as Guest Poet, for the September 
2004 issue of
Quill & Parchment: http://quillandparchment.com/

As you know many states in the union celebrate Native 
American month in September, so we thought it appropriate 
to feature Leonard and his prison writings in our September 
issue.

As you know we are a" by subscription" e zine, but we will 
be inviting everyone who enjoys freedom to come as our 
invited guest... the userid and passwords for the September 
issue will be listed below. If anyone would like to visit 
Quill and Parchment this month, the passwords are: userid: 
july, password: virgo and for September they will be: 
userid: september, password: freedom

All passwords are lower case. Please send this e mail far 
and wide. We want as many people as possible to be able 
to read Leonard's words and to know his heart.
Poetically yours,
Sharmagne Leland-St. John
A proud member of the San Poil Tribe of the Confederated Colville
Nation, Nespelem, WA
Editor-in-Chief,
Quill & Parchment
http://quillandparchment.com/
userid: july
password: virgo

--------------------------

WILD HORSES AND BURROS THREATENED BY AGENCY CHARGED TO 
PROTECT THEM 

The Bureau of Land Management (BLM), a part of the U.S. 
Department of the Interior, is responsible for protecting 
and managing wild horses and burros who, by law, are allowed 
to roam free on our public lands. Unfortunately, the BLM is determined 
to remove wild horses and burros to make more room 
for cattle grazing. Charging that wild horses and burros are 
overpopulated, the BLM is pursuing a policy to round up 50% 
of the wild horse and burro population by 2005 -- reducing 
their numbers to a mere 22,000 wild horses and 2,700 wild 
burros throughout the entire west, while leaving millions of 
cows and sheep on the same lands. In some cases, herds are 
reduced to numbers so low that they are no longer genetically viable. 
Shockingly and unfairly, on the average, 90% of forage 
on our public lands is allocated to livestock and the remainder 
to wild horses and burros and other wildlife species. Please 
contact your members of Congress and express your concern about 
the mismanagement and abuse OF our public lands and the animals 
who live there.

---------------------------

SCHEDULE OF 10th BIRTHDAY EVENTS FOR MIRACLE, THE SACRED 
WHITE BUFFALO
Janesville, Wisconsin August 20, 2004 
Note: Miracle is pregnant again and may give birth on or 
near her birthday!

SUNRISE CEREMONIES (6:08 a.m.): Women are requested to wear 
shawls and long skirts of their own people. Friends may also 
choose to wear regalia in their traditional manner. Prayer 
gifts from your heart to honor Miracle are welcome. 

NOON PIPE CEREMONY: Offered by Chuck Browneagle of the 
Ho-Chunk Nation

EARLY AFTERNOON POT LUCK LUNCHEON: Open to all. Food 
contributions and your own traditional dinnerware are welcome!

EVENING STORYTELLING BY THE FIRE: Offered by Art Shegonee of 
the Menominee and Potawatomi Nations.

Miracle's Museum will be open all day. The Heider's small 
gift shop will also be open all day. Proceeds help the Heiders maintain 
Miracle's home.

*Dave and Valerie Heider request cars be parked in the 
neighbor's lot beside their home. A small parking fee of 
$2.00 is appreciated. *Please bring lawn chairs marked with 
your names. Seating is very limited. *Additions/changes to 
the schedule are possible. The Dave and Valerie Heider Farm 
is located in Janesville, Wisconsin. 

Directions, lodging and other information can be found at: 
Miracle's Website - General Farm and Visitor Information Page
www.homestead.com/WhiteBuffaloMiracle/Miracle_VisitorInfo.htm

Miracle's Website - Heider Farm and Area Camping Information 
Page
http://www.whitebuffalomiracle.homestead.com/Miracle_CampingInfo.html

Sign Miracle's Birthday Card
www.nativevillage.org/Inspiration-/Miracles%20Birthday/2004%20Birthday%20Respects%20for%20Miracle,%20the%20sacred%20white%20buffalo.htm


Birthday Card Sponsored by Native Village News
www.nativevillage.org

Miracle's Website ~ Miracle, The Sacred White Buffalo
www.whitebuffalomiracle.homestead.com/index.html

-------------------------------

Ruth Garby Torres sent this:

Shenandoah: The Washington and Lee University Review 
will publish a special selection of poetry by Native American writers in 
its Winter, 2004 issue. The section will include approximately 40 pages 
of poetry and one essay. All poets of 
Native American origin are eligible to send work for 
consideration. 

Send manuscript, along with bio notes, to Shenandoah, Special 
Issues Editor/Native American Poetry, Mattingly House, 2 
Lee Avenue, Washington and Lee University, Lexington, VA 
24450-0303. Submissions must be received by August 15, 2004. 
General writer's guidelines and other information about 
Shenandoah are available on the Shenandoah website: 
http://shenandoah.wlu.edu

---------------------------

This comes from Michael Hughes. 
The National Archive had a web exhibit up--fascinating and inadvertantly 
hilarious--on the infamous Nixon-Elvis 
meeting in the Oval Office. 
http://www.archives.gov/exhibit_hall/when_nixon_met_elvis/index.html 

I almost listed this is the HUMOR section. It is not intended 
to be funny, but the surreal nature of the incidents has 
always struck me as funny. Perhaps I am egged on by the 
lyrics to a song by the Country/Western comedy team Pinkard & Bowden's 
song: Elvis Was A Narc:

---------------------------------

Gwen sent this request and interesting article about a veteran getting a 
much delayed medal:

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/2449418

Phil, I thought you might be able to get the following out to 
your subscribers, about a WWII Navajo Code Talker, Teddy Draper, 
Sr. Perhaps if enough people write to Senator John McCain, Mr. Draper 
will get his wish. To contact Senator McCain: http://mccain.senate.gov/ 
(go to the bottom of the page and 
click on "Contact." This is the letter I sent to Senator 
McCain, which everyone is welcome to plagiarize as much as they like: 

Dear Senator McCain, A friend of mine, who lives outside San Antonio, 
Texas, mailed an article to me from the San Antonio newspaper. The 
article is about a Navajo man named Teddy Draper 
Sr., a WWII Code Talker who fought at Iwo Jima, where he lost 
much of his hearing from a mortar shell blast. Mr. Draper 
fought the Veteran’s Administration, unsuccessfully, for 56 
years trying to obtain disability benefits. By chance, an 
attorney, George Parker, went to hear him tell his story one evening. 
Offering his assistance to Mr. Draper, pro bono, 
Attorney Parker fought the VA and was able to finally get Mr. 
Draper his well-deserved benefits. Last winter, Mr. Draper 
was awarded the Purple Heart from the US Marine Corps, along 
with retroactive benefits in the amount of $80,000, plus an 
increase in yearly benefits of $20,000. In the article, it states: "To 
his dismay, Draper received his medal IN THE MAIL 
like any bill. His children are hoping to persuade Sen. John 
McCain, R-Ariz., to present it to him formally." I feel 
obligated to contact you, in hopes that along with others 
who may have already contacted you, you will be persuaded to 
fulfill this veteran's request. I have a great deal of respect 
for you, Senator McCain. I am of your generation; I lost 
friends in Vietnam. I think, considering what Mr. Draper has 
endured for the last 60 years, it's a small request, and one 
that I hope you will grant to him. With Admiration and Respect, 
Gwen 


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Humor:

------------

My mother sent me this. I may have posted it before. If I 
have, it is worth a repeat:

Where Ya from? 

You live in Arizona when...
1.You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found 
shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car 
door or the steeringwheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your bottom from the hot 
water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water 
on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture 
lingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave 
town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9 The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE 
YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you 
in the face when you open your oven door.

You Live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy 
a house.
2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his 
cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block 
party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them 
how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles 
away it is.

You Live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean 
Manhattan.
2... You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the 
Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get 
from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find 
Wisconsin on a map.
4 You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their 
own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in Maine when...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and 
Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight 
buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, 
and construction.
(Note from Phil: I met a stonemason from Maine who said there 
are only 2 seasons in Maine: Winter and the Fourth of July.)

You Live in the Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round 
here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, 
Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You live in Colorado when...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home 
and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a 
pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows 
your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass 
a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same 
day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat 
at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you 
say, "It was
different!"

You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even 
houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

-----------------------

My mother also sent this:

PALM SUNDAY: 

IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-
OLD JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE 
FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. 
THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' 
HEAD AS HE WALKED BY." 
"WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T 
GO, HE SHOWS UP!" 


CHILDREN'S SERMON: ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER 
WAS PREACHING THE CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG 
OF PROPS AND PULLED OUT AN EGG. HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND 
ASKED THE CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN HERE?" 
"I KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY EXCLAIMED. "PANTYHOSE!" 

SUPPORT A FAMILY: 
THE PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU 
SUPPORT A FAMILY?" 
THE SURPRISED GROOM-TO-BE REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I WAS JUST 
PLANNING TO SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE 
TO FEND FOR YOURSELVES." 

GRANDMA'S AGE: 
LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA HOW OLD SHE WAS. 
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING." 
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD 
WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?" 

FIRST TIME USHERS: 
A LITTLE BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE 
USHERS PASSED AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES. WHEN THEY CAME 
NEAR HIS PEW, THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY FOR ME DADDY. 
I'M UNDER FIVE." 

PRAYERS: 
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER ASKED, "NOW, JOHNNY, TELL ME, 
DO YOU SAY PRAYERS BEFORE EATING?" 
"NO SIR," HE REPLIED, "WE DON'T HAVE TO. MY MOM IS A GOOD 
COOK!" 

CLIMB THE WALLS: 
"OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU," THE LITTLE BOY SAID TO 
HIS GRANDMOTHER ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE. "NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL 
DO THE TRICK HE HAS BEEN PROMISING US." 
THE GRANDMOTHER WAS CURIOUS. "WHAT TRICK IS THAT?" SHE ASKED. 
"I HEARD HIM TELL MOMMY THAT HE WOULD CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU 
CAME TO VISIT" THE LITTLE BOY ANSWERED. 

THE WATER PISTOL: 
WHEN MY THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM 
HIS GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL. HE SQUEALED 
WITH DELIGHT AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK. 
I WAS NOT SO PLEASED. I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M 
SURPRISED AT YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO DRIVE 
YOU CRAZY WITH WATER GUNS?" 
MOM SMILED AND ! THEN REPLIED....."I REMEMBER

-----------------------

My brother & sister-in-law (Milton & Amy) sent this one:

Airline Humor

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make 
the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more 
entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been 
heard or reported:

On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just 
sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard 
time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, 
people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and 
get in it!"

On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant 
crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached 
cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. 
This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of 
your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all 
of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please 
make sure it's something we'd like to have."

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 
4 ways out of this airplane"

"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you 
enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking 
you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald 
Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, 
big fella. WHOA!"

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in 
Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments 
because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything 
has shifted." 

From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest 
Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the 
metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like 
every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate 
one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will 
descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and 
pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling 
with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If 
you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken 
clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. 
Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, 
more than Southwest Airlines."

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the 
event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore 
and take them with our compliments."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your 
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly 
among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children 
or spouses."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta 
Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight 
attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them 
are on this flight!"

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing 
in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom 
and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. 
I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, 
it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's 
fault, it was the asphalt."

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, 
on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final 
approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After 
an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies 
and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your 
seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis 
what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We 
ask you to please remain seated as Captain 
Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he 
had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The 
airline had a policy which required the first officer to 
stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and 
give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, 
in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers 
in the eye, thinking that someone would have a 
smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for 
a little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot 
down?"

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant 
came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your 
seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the 
aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once 
the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, 
we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the 
wreckage to the terminal."

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd 
like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the 
next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through 
the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think 
of US Airways."

Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, 
if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane 
is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached 
a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an 
announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this 
is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, 
nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is 
good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful 
flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence 
followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back 
on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so 
sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, 
the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot 
coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A 
passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see 
the back of mine!"

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free 
trip around the sun every year.

----------------------------------

Jay Crosby sent this:

WISDOM FROM GRANDPA 
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, 
depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries. 

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy 
earnin' his salt, that he forgets his sugar. 

Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not 
for good. 

When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the 
trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, 
she will never turn into an old nag. 

On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - 
- but never the present. 

A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', 
ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is 
gonna work." 

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the 
interest is kept. 

Many girls like to marry a military man - - he can cook, 
sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and he's already 
used to taking orders. 

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about 
your age, and start bragging about it. 

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in 
line for. 

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want 
people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long 
way and some of the roads weren't paved. 

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? 

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth.... 
remember Algebra. 

You know you are getting old when everything either dries 
up - - or leaks. 

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to 
the top. 

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is 
that it is such a nice change from being young. 

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. 

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled 
and bald they don't recognize you. 

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have 
anything to laugh at when you are old. 

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you 
forget to pull up your zipper. But it's really bad when 
you forget to pull it down. 

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, 
it was called black magic........Today, it's called Golf. 

-------------------------

Jay also sent this: (some slightly adult words)

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: 
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? 
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more 
than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone 
wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? 
What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical 
formula that might help you answer these questions: 

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented 
as: 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. 

Then: 
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K   8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% 
and 
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E   11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% 
But, 
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E   1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% 
And, 
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T   2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% 
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. 
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G       1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% 

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While 
Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude 
will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that 
will put you over the top. 

------------------------

My daughter Sarah sent this:

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in 
diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the 
door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to 
put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be 
out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never 
mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, 
so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the 
opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself 
types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is 
too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 
40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for 
directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, 
tell him checkbooks. 
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell 
him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

--------------------------------

Bev Fox from Australia sent this:

The Atheist and the Bear 

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What 
majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" 
he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the 
river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he 
saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as 
he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that 
the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping 
frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and 
fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but 
saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At 
that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!.. 

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It 
was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice 
came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all 
of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit 
creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help 
you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" 

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of 
me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a 
Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very 
well," said the voice. The light went out. 
And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear 
lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke, "Lord, bless 
this food which I am about to receive and for which I am 
truly thankful."

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Cultural Tidbits from the Cherokee Nation Newsletter: 

In a search for order and sustaining that order, the olden 
Cherokee devised a simple, yet seemingly complex belief 
system. Many of the elements of the original system remain 
today. Although some have evolved or otherwise been modified, 
the traditional Cherokee of today recognize the belief 
system as an integral part of day-to-day life. 

Certain numbers play an important role in the ceremonies of 
the Cherokee. The numbers four and seven repeatedly occur in 
myths, stories and ceremonies. Four represents all the 
familiar forces, also represented in the four cardinal 
directions. These cardinal directions are east, west, north 
and south. Certain colors are also associated with these 
directions. The number seven represents the seven clans of 
the Cherokee, and are also associated with directions. In 
addition to the four cardinal directions, three others exist. 
Up (the Upper World), down (the Lower World) and center 
(where we live, and where ‘you’ always are). 

The number seven also represents the height of purity and sacredness, a 
difficult level to attain. In olden times, 
it was believed that only the owl and cougar had attained 
this level, and since then, they have always had a special 
meaning to the Cherokee. The pine, cedar, spruce, holly 
and laurel also attained this level. They play a very 
important role in Cherokee ceremonies. Cedar is the most 
sacred of all, and the distinguishing colors of red and 
white set it off from all others. The wood from the tree 
is considered very sacred, and in ancient days, was used 
to carry the honored dead. 

Because of these early beliefs, the traditional Cherokee 
have a special regard for the owl and cougar. They are 
the honored ones in some versions of the Creation story. 
They were the only two who were able to stay awake for 
the seven nights of Creation. The others fell asleep. 
Today, because of this, they are nocturnal in their habits 
and both have night vision. The owl is seemingly different 
from other birds, and he resembles an old man as he walks. Sometimes, 
the owl can be mistaken for a cat with his 
feather tufts and silhouette of his head. This resemblance 
honors his nocturnal brother, the cougar. The owls’ eyes 
are quite large and set directly in front like a persons, 
and he can close one independent of the other. The cougar 
is an animal whose has screams which resemble those of a 
woman. He is an animal who has habits that are very secret 
and unpredictable. 

The cedar, pine, spruce, laurel and holly trees have leaves 
all year long. These plants, too, stayed awake seven nights 
during the Creation. Because of this, they were given special 
power, and they are among the most important plants in Cherokee medicine 
and ceremonies. 

Traditionally, the Cherokee are deeply concerned with 
keeping things separated and in the proper classification, 
or category. For example, when sacred items are not in use 
they are wrapped in deerskin, or white cloth, and kept in 
a special box or other place. 

The circle is a familiar symbol to traditional Cherokees. 
The Stomp Dance and other ceremonies involve movements in 
a circular pattern. In ancient times, the fire in the council 
house was built by arranging the wood in a continuous "X" 
so that the fire would burn in a circular path. 

The rivers, or "Long Man," were always believed to be sacred, 
and the practice of going to water for purification and other ceremonies 
was at one time very common. Today, the river, or 
any other body of moving water such as a creek, is considered 
a sacred site, and going to water is still a respected 
practice by some Cherokees. 

The everyday cultural world of the Cherokee includes 
spiritual beings. Even though the beings are different 
from people and animals, they are not considered 
"supernatural." They are very much a part of the natural, 
or real, world and most people at some point in their 
lives, have an experience with spiritual beings. One group 
of spiritual beings still talked about by many Cherokees, 
are the Little People. They are invisible unless they want 
to be seen. When seen, they look very much like any other 
Cherokee, except they are very small, and have long hair, 
sometimes to the ground. The Little People live in various 
places, such as rock shelters, caves in the mountains, 
laurel thickets, etc. They like drumming and dancing, and 
they often help lost children. Not only physically lost, 
but sometimes saddened children and those who are going 
through the tough times of growing up. They are also known 
to be quite mischievous at times. The Little People need to 
be dealt with carefully, and it is necessary to observe the traditional 
rules regarding them. They don’t like to be 
disturbed, and they may cause a person who continually 
bothers them to become ‘puzzled’ throughout life. Because 
of this, traditional Cherokees will not investigate or 
look when they believe they hear Little People. If one of 
the Little People is accidentally seen, or if he or she 
chooses to show himself, it is not to be discussed or told 
of for at least seven years. It is also a common practice 
to not speak about the Little People after night fall. 

------------------------

Bob and the Hummingbird 
Robert Rucker, a member of the Milam Family of Cherokees, 
enjoys feeding the wildlife in his back yard. Numerous 
species visit the large feeders he keeps filled for both 
birds and squirrels. Bob told this story of his encounter 
with a tiny hummingbird. 

One day Bob stepped onto his covered porch and noticed a 
hummingbird caught in a thick cobweb near the roof. Very 
carefully he pulled the little creature free and held it 
in his hand. He saw that the bird was weak and had probably 
been caught in the web all night. He held it close to the hummingbird 
feeder while it drank its fill. 

Bob could see that the bird was still struggling with sticky 
webs caught in its wings. He brushed the strands away, 
opening his palm out flat so that the bird could fly. Bob 
watched as the hummingbird rose slightly, hovering just above 
his palm. Its wings were beating so quickly they were 
invisible. Then it landed back on his hand. It tested its 
wings in this manner a couple more times. 

Then a wonderful thing happened. The hummingbird used its 
long beak to pull out a feather from beneath its wing. This 
the bird laid in Bob’s hand. According to Cherokee 
traditionalist Pat Moss, that is how you get a hummingbird 
feather…it has to be given to you. 


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Interesting websites and news:

Greetings from The Georgia Tribe of Eastern Cherokee. We 
are proud to announce the launch of our new sister site 
“Cherokee Indians” located at www.CherokeeIndians.com . We 
hope to engage the general public in our mission to restore 
the dignity and honor of the disenfranchised Cherokee People. 
We sincerely thank for your support. 
The Georgia Tribe of Eastern Cherokee


Education in Indian country
http://www.kumeyaay.com/news/news_detail.html?id=1814


Tohono O’odham and Yaqui: “No More Walls
http://www.kumeyaay.com/news/news_detail.html?id=1812


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Here are some randomly picked historical events for August:

August 1, 1832: General Henry Atkinson, called "White Beaver" 
by the Indians, army regulars, and 3,000 civilian volunteers, 
fight with Black Hawk's forces at the battle of Bad Axe River,
a few miles south of present day La Crosse in southwest 
Wisconsin. Approximately 150 Indians are killed in the 
fighting. (See August 3, 1832)

August 2, 1675: Captain Thomas Wheeler, with twenty militia, 
and three Indian guides, have arranged for a meeting with 
the Nipmucks on August 1st. The whites hope to make the 
Nipmucks allies in their fight against the Wampanoags. 
However, the Nipmucks have already joined up with King 
Philip's Wampanoags. When the Nipmucks are not at the 
meeting site, the English search for them, against the 
advice of their Indian guides. Today, a joint force of 
Nipmucks and Wampanoags attack Wheeler's force. Half of 
Wheeler's force is killed in the initial attack. Wheeler 
retreats to Brookfield, in central Massachusetts. Wheeler, 
and the eighty local residents move into a small, wooden, 
community fort. The Indians stage a siege, and make several unsuccessful 
attempts to burn the building. One settler 
manages to escape, and run for help. Within a few days 
Major Simon Willard, and four dozen men reach Brookfield, 
and engage the Indians. The English claim to have killed 
eighty warriors in the subsequent fighting. 

August 3, 1832: Black Hawk has been chased back westward 
to the Mississippi River. General Winfield Scott has outfitted 
a steamboat, "The Warrior," with artillery. Today he confronts 
Black Hawk. Initially Black Hawk attempts to parlay, but the 
1,300 white forces are out for blood. In the subsequent 
fighting, almost 200 warriors are killed, while the soldiers 
lose a tenth of that. Black Hawk escapes, but he is captured 
by other Indians, some time later. About 200 Sac Indians 
make it across the river, only to be killed by Sioux Indians 
on the west bank. 

August 4, 1845: Peter Jones (Kahkewaquonaby) is a Mississauga 
Ojibwa chief. While on a speaking tour of Scotland to raise 
money for missionary efforts in his homeland, his picture is 
taken. This is considered to be one of the first photographs 
ever made of an American Indian. 

August 5, 1838: The second group of Cherokee prisoners 
forcibly removed to the Indian Territory (present day 
Oklahoma) arrive in their new lands in the Indian Territory. 
Of the 875 who originally left Ross' Landing (Chattanooga, Tennessee) on 
June 13th, only 602 arrive. While some of the 
captive Cherokees escape, many of the 273 missing Cherokees 
die en route. 

August 6, 1763: After yesterday's inconclusive fighting at 
Bushy Run, in southwestern Pennsylvania, Henry Bouquet's 
force of almost 450, devise a plan to surprise the Wyandot, 
Shawnee, Mingo and Delaware who are fighting then. Bouquet 
fakes a retreat which leads the following Indians into a 
trap. Both sides lose a total of about 100 men in the 
fighting. The Indians give up the battle, and Bouquet 
continues on to relieve Fort Pitt. Some of the Indians 
involved in "Pontiac's Rebellion" are less inclined to 
fight in the future, after this battle. 

August 7, 659: Yukukun has forced Maya King Shield Skull of 
Tikal (Guatemala) into exile. Today, Shield Skull appears 
in Palenque, (Mexico). Some sources say this happened on 
August 16, 659.
(see my photos of Palenque at:
http://americanindian.net/mayae.html and 
http://americanindian.net/mexico14.html )

August 8, 1587: A little over a week ago, one of the 
English colonists in the Roanoke colony in North Carolina 
is killed by an Indian. Colony leader John White leads two 
dozen men in a raid to punish the killer. Their zeal for 
revenge outweighs their judgment, though. They kill a 
Croatan Indian, but it is the wrong one. Some historians 
believe this might have led to the eventual disappearance 
of the Roanoke colony. 

August 9, 1843: Penatekas Comanche Chief Pahayuca signs a 
truce with Texas Commissioner of Indian Affairs, Joseph 
Eldredge. A full-fledged treaty is not arranged, though. 

August 10, 1973: An election on July 18th, approved a 
Constitution and By-Laws for the Cortina Band of Indians 
on the Cortina Indian Rancheria in Colusa County, California. 
Marvin Franklin, Assistant to the Secretary of the Interior 
ratifies the results.

August 11, 1680: The Pueblo Rebellion takes place in New 
Mexico under the leadership of a Tewa named Popé. Popé has 
arranged for an attack on as many of the Spanish missions 
as possible to all take place on the same day. Some sources 
say this happens on August 10th.

August 12, 1676: During a skirmish with white colonists, 
King Philip of the Wampanoags is urged to end the battle by 
one of his warriors. Philip becomes so angry with the warrior 
for suggesting this that he clubs him to death. The dead 
warrior's brother, Alderman, goes to Captain Benjamin Church, 
and offers to lead him to King Philip. Today, good to his 
word, Alderman showed Church, and his men, King Philip's 
camp in a swamp at Mount Hope. The soldiers surrounded Philip. 
As Philip attempted to escape by a back trail, Alderman, 
stationed there by Church, shoots, and kills him. Philip's 
head is taken to Plymouth and displayed on a pole for two 
decades. This ends King Philip's War. As many as 600 English, 
and perhaps five times that number of Indians, are killed 
during the war. 

August 13, 1587: Manteo, a Crotan Indian has converted to 
the Church of England. He is baptized by Sir Walter Raleigh. 
In respect for his help with Raleigh's colonists, Raleigh 
gives him the title of "Lord of Roanoke and of Dasamonquepeuk." 

August 14, 1812: Tecumseh tells Sir Isaac Brock, "We gave 
the forest-clad mountains and valleys full of game, and in 
return what did they give our warriors and our women? Rum 
and trinkets and a grave." 

August 15, 1642: In instructions to the Pennsylvania Governor 
John Printz of New Sweden, the Queen of Sweden wishes for 
"the wild nations" to be treated kindly, and in a humane 
manner. She also states that the Indians are the "rightful 
lords" of this land, and must be treated accordingly. 

August 16, 1812: Shawnee Chief Tecumseh has been commissioned 
as a Brigadier General by the British. With his Indians 
forces, he is instrumental in the surrender of American 
force at Fort Detroit. 

August 17, 1805: In one of the most amazing coincidents 
in history, Lewis and Clark meet Sacajawea's brother. 
(see pictures of the area on my website at:
http://americanindian.net/2003d.html )

August 18, 1862: Santee Sioux attack the lower agency in 
Minnesota as one of the first moves of the "Santee Sioux 
Uprising." As many as 400 whites died the first day. 

August 19, 1782: Battles have been fought in many areas around Kentucky 
and Virginia. On August 16, 300 to 400 Indians, and 
a few whites, led by British Captain William Caldwell and 
Simon Girty, attack the settlement at nearvy Bryan's Station, 
near Lexington, Kentucky.When reinforcements arrive, the 
Indians retreat to the area called the "Blue Licks." The Blue 
Licks is a spring on the middle fork of the Linking River. 
Despite the advise of many frontiersmen such as Daniel Boone 
to wait for more soldiers, the militia takes off after the 
Indians. The militia falls into the Indians' trap and around 
seventy soldiers are killed.

August 20, 1794: Little Turtle has seen how skillfully 
General Wayne is at organizing his forces. Knowing this will 
not be like the easy encounters he has had with Harmar, and 
St. Clair, Little Turtle suggests making peace with the 
whites. He is called a coward, and Turkey Foot takes his 
place as War Chief. 800 warriors, including 100 Cherokees 
are waiting for Wayne's forces near Fort Miami, near present 
day Toledo, Ohio. Many of the Indians have been fasting for 
days, to be "pure for battle." Wayne takes this into 
consideration, and slows his advance so they are weaker. 

August 21, 1871: Treaty Number Two (Manitoba Post Treaty), 
is concluded between the Canadian Government, and the 
Chippewa. They sell 35,700 square miles of land, in exchange 
for certain reservation lands, an annuity, schools and other 
items. 

August 22, 1877: As a part of their flight to Canada, the 
Nez Perce enter Yellowstone Park. They will encounter many 
tourists in their travels through the park. 
(see pictures of the area on my website at:
http://americanindian.net/2003f.html )

August 23, 1955: An election is authorized to adopt an 
amended Constitution and By-Laws for the Hualapai Tribe of 
the Haulapai Reservation in Arizona by the Assistant 
Secretary of the Interior. The election is on October 22, 
1955.

August 24, 1869: For his actions on July 8, 1869, Mad Bear 
receives the Congressional Medal of Honor. 

August 25, 1665: Construction begin on the first of four 
forts which are built in Chambly, Quebec, southeast of 
Montreal. This fort is called Fort St. Louis. Later versions 
are called Fort Chambly. Its primary purpose is to defend 
nearby settlers from attacks by the Iroquois.

August 26, 1876: Treaty 6 is signed by the Cree, Chipewyan 
and Saulteaux and the Canadian government covering much of 
modern Alberta and Saskatchewan. 

August 27, 1935: The Indian Arts and Craft Act (104 Stat. 
4662) is passed by Congress. Its purpose is to "promote 
the economic welfare of the Indian tribes and Indian 
individuals through the development of Indian arts and 
crafts and the expansion of the market for the products 
of Indian art and craftsmanship."

August 28, 1686: According to a alleged copy of a deed dated 
with today's date, Delaware Chiefs Mayhkeerickkishsho, 
Sayhoppy, and Taughhoughsey, sell lands along the Delaware 
River to William Penn. The deed specified that the land 
encompass the distance "back into the woods as far as a man 
can go in a day and a half." A copy of this deed is found 
by Thomas Penn in 1734. The implementation of this deed is called "The 
Walking Purchase." The walk is started on 
September 19, 1737. The manner in which it is done leads 
to recriminations on both side. Some sources say this 
happens on August 30th. 

August 29, 1759: Mohegan Samson Occom is ordained as a 
minister by the Suffolk Presbytery of Long Island, New 
York. While living with Rev. Eleazar Wheelock, he has 
studied numerous foreign languages, including Hebrew and 
Greek. Eventually, he is sent to England to help raise 
funds for Wheelock's Indian "Charity" School. Occom is 
the first Indian Minister to deliver a sermon in England. 
His fund-raising efforts are so outstanding that Wheelock's 
School can afford to move to New Hampshire, and eventually 
become Dartmouth College. 

August 30, 1813: The "Red Sticks," the anti-whites faction 
of the Creeks, attack Fort Mims, just north of Mobile, 
Alabama, on Lake Tensaw. 800 Red Stick Creeks warriors 
(some estimates range between 400 and a 1,000), led by 
Chiefs Peter McQueen and William Weatherford (Lume Chathi - 
Red Eagle), rush into the open fort, at noon, and kill 107 
soldiers, and 260 civilians, including 100 Negro slaves. 
The fort commander, Major Daniel Beasley, has done a poor 
job of preparing the fort for the Creek War. This laxity 
leads to the success of the Creek attack. The defenders 
are brutally attacked and only a few Americans escape. The 
defense of the fort is led by militia Captain Dixon Bailey, 
a half-blood Creek. Bailey dies in the fighting. During the 
five-hour battle, between thirty-six and 100 Red Stick 
Creeks are killed according to different sources. 

August 31, 1925: The Mi'kmaq Membertou First Nation reserve 
of Membertou #28B is established in Nova Scotia.


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That's it for now. There will be more to come in the days ahead.

Stay safe,

Phil


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End of the August 2004 Newsletter by Phil Konstantin
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